On: disgust

Sometimes I’m in the middle of reading a very exciting article on Harvard Business Review (which, if you know me, has been a favorite publication for years), and I feel a turn in my stomach — disgust.

I think to myself: “Why am I so interested in organizations’ ability to convey to their employees that they’ve improved internal processes…. blah blah blah, yuck! I hate this!” Sitting with this visceral reaction this morning, I realized, some of my core values are in major conflict.

On the one hand is my value of enjoyment. Oh, how I love to know people are at choice to enjoy their lives.

Right alongside that is my value of excellence. Let’s. Do. Our. Best! Why wouldn’t we?! I derive a unique pleasure from the feeling of vitality when I’m striving for excellence.

However, standing across from these two powerhouses are my values of freedom and dignity, which are what firmly plant my politics in anticolonialism. I don’t believe we should be forced to work or starve, no matter how favorable we can make whatever working conditions we can secure.

So, in moments like these when I feel considerable resentment at our lack of positive liberty I remind myself that the synergy between these values lay in:

Survival Pending Revolution. To me that means, don’t give up. Don’t do the bare minimum just because there are power structures you can’t control or abstain from. Build a life that is full of meaning, connection, impact, and pleasure. And, pursue the knowledge to be accountable to how your life is made possible. Understand the wrungs of inequity and oppression that hold you up in whatever level of status you have on this rickety capitalist ladder we’re all forced to be on, or face certain death. And in clinging to it, remember it’s not the ladder we’re trying to maintain. Do your best to (re)create other structures to exist in.